I usually look at my heavily congested class schedules for the coming months and wonder how exactly they were made to be the way they are. Did someone just squeeze whatever was possible into the time they were given, or did they plan for us to learn with the right pace and workload? Maybe it’s not up to them. Then who came up with the deadlines for what we need to know? Did that entity optimize ways we could input and digest information, or did they just assume we’re supposed to take in whatever was shoved into our tired minds? Do the people that expect so damn much from us also realize we have other things going on in our lives too? Does the teacher in class not just passively know but really understand that all the other teachers and subjects are just as bulky and pressuring? Is emotional frustration a concern in school curriculum designs too, or do they get recency bias and assume whatever is on our plate is so much “easier” than what’s on theirs? If I don’t make it, would any of them care, really, or is their only concern to make me do it all over again? If they read this, would they assume I’m just emotionally weak and tell me I don’t belong here? That this is only a place for the ones who can handle everything and still be able to plaster a smile on their face?… A game designed only for the deserving, right? Does that make me unworthy because they went through the same thing and came out just fine; because they memorized everything there was and came out the other side without a scratch?

I refuse to take any of that crap. Every last one of them was pushed against a wall at some point and felt like their lungs were about to give out. I know they all wanted to give up at some point. I know they have been where I am right now, I know I am no less than them, and I know I am worthy. They have no idea how much energy I have in me. They have no clue how bad I want to win. And I will, eventually.
Regardless of how things will go.
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@thesunandherflowerss 💛