I sometimes reread my own posts to see if they meant anything to anyone here. If they gave hope and all that stuff like how intended them to. It's a bit ironic...how I wrote them trying to make people feel better and I'm here looking for that same effect.

People change...or atleast their views of the world change. I know people think the older you get the less happier you are because you've got more responsibilities, more things causing stress, etc. I tried really really hard not to believe that. To prove everyone wrong and be optimistic forever. To keep my chin up. But I think I got sucked into it. 😊

From where I see life right now, its just chaos and fear. I'm just juggling my now and worrying about what's next. What's going to happen to the people I care about. What's going to happen to me. Or this country. What's tomorrow going to jump scare me with?

And before I'm able to comprehend what the hell today was, the next day comes and swamps me with its new events. Right now, I'm just a 3 year long library of unprocessed thoughts and emotions. One on top of the other. Untouched. Unexplored. Feared. Left in the corner.

(Not meant to bum anyone out eshi, just ranting. I'm sorry I disappeared)
💛