i realized i can not be a chill guy, probably never been. I have opinions on many topics, strong ones. i do care about a lot of random stuff. i have a lot of passion that i pursue in unfashionable way and a curiosity that suck the chill out of me

i cant hold myself of not being excited about stuff. I cannot be a chill guy and stay cool when i am constantly bothered by my inner thoughts and outside stimuli. maybe i will be chill when my demons cancel out each other, until then am gonna stay bothered, not chilled