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"You're so funny" thanks when I was in secondary school and told my parents I was being bullied they sat me down and told me if they were in school with me they also would've bullied me😭😭


I miss you a little more when its
3am and i know you are still awake
too


When you thought you "ate"
in an argument against your dad then he just says
"get out of my house"


i got that deer in me. (constant urge to run into oncoming traffic)


Sometimes I want to
disappear but what if
I'm someone's favorite account


My girl complains I don't buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn't know she sold flowers.


Lazy is such an ugly word, I prefer the term selective participation.


Humour is like Skin the darker it
gets, the less people like it.


Life is confusing as a child cuz you don't know what's going on. Life is confusing as an adult because you do know what's going on.


I'm like the opposite of Artificial Intelligence, I'm Natural Stupidity.🙂


Home is where the water
doesn't taste weird.


i am disgustingly self aware; there's
nothing u can tell me that i haven't
spent weeks reflecting on.😂💔


She didn't just break up with me She video called me with I new brofriend he farted and they laughed saying it's me who farted


A male friend will never
disappoint you until he becomes your boyfriend.


I may look fine, but deep down I don't remember any of my passwords


Moms will beat you like this and still say "this hurts me more than it hurts you"


isn't it crazy how we are always one decision away from a completely different life


The bad news is, nothing is
going to stay the same. The
good news is, nothing is going
to stay the same.


I'd be a terrible therapist bc I'd want to see a pic of the person you're crying about

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