I have never talked to a women in my entire life
‘That explains the dating advice you give’ I would have normally gotten upset and called your mother a prostitute but the truth is, you are right. It is of course a slight exaggeration to say I never spoke to a woman. I just decided all the times I talked to a women never counted.
Okay but seriously.
Every time I hear stories of people who died along in their homes after choking on food or people living in their disgusting homes filled with trash and old food, I get filled with a terrible sense of dread that that is gonna be me. I am not a very easy person to live with and I am really not doing anything to change that. Mostly cause I don’t know what to do. Bear with me, I am working with post shit clarity here.
I would hate to overestimate my place in the lives of others but I have attempted to shove my self into peoples’ lives only for it to end disastrously. I have come to the conclusion that no one wants to be my friend. That sounded pretty sap. All I am saying is that no one loves me. Damn sounds even worse. I just want someone to rub my back and tell me everything will be fine. You know what, I am going to stop it here.
At the advanced age of 23, it is highly unlikely I will make friends. If I get married tomorrow, I won’t groomsmen. Because I have no friends. I thought I clarified that. I might have to hire a group of men for the photos.
Most great things that come my way are followed by lengthy periods of sadness and self loathing. Why? Because I have no one to celebrate with. I don’t have anyone asking about my day or what I did over the weekends.
I have got absolutely no one at this point. Which is kinda funny cause in grade school I had people who stood up to bullies for me. I guess I lost my 9 year old charm. I don’t want to go anywhere but I am made to. Home is where the TV is. I don’t watch it but it’s where the TV is.
I think I also mentioned I am a disaster with women. I don’t have money, I am not good at anything, and most importantly, I only know one type of cheese. That’s called cheese. Oh and there is አይብ which I never called cheese before.
I saw a podcast the other day
It was Louie CK on this show and they were talking about this man who posted about how he is looking for a group of black men to come fuck him. It was a video I think on craigs list. While everyone was making fun of the dude Louie pointed out how sad this video is. Because the first video this man posted was most likely not that but rather ‘hey wanna be friends?’ And after getting 0 responses on several of his posts he decided to throw caution to the wind and go with that.
Sometime I wanna cry but I can’t. I am not able to. But I dry heave when I am sad. Like a poodle. It’s been therapeutic. I recommend you try it.
Why am I saying this?
Because I think this is the loneliest era that we live in. I said I think! And I think it is especially hard on people well…like myself who struggle socially. The world is not kind. Even those who claim to want to help don’t care. I guess they need your problems to be juicy. I still haven’t figured it out. I want to go therapy but I can’t afford it and also I am not sure what a habesha therapist is gonna be like. I can’t stand the “ምፅም’ every 5 seconds or the judgy look. Anyways, if I do die alone, I hope my pets can turn me into good food. In conclusion, I am not sure what’s in store for me in the next 5 years. It’s hard to love yourself when you can’t even imagine anyone loving you. That’s all I wanted to say.
A little musical humor for you. Let’s leave this on a high note. E
‘That explains the dating advice you give’ I would have normally gotten upset and called your mother a prostitute but the truth is, you are right. It is of course a slight exaggeration to say I never spoke to a woman. I just decided all the times I talked to a women never counted.
Okay but seriously.
Every time I hear stories of people who died along in their homes after choking on food or people living in their disgusting homes filled with trash and old food, I get filled with a terrible sense of dread that that is gonna be me. I am not a very easy person to live with and I am really not doing anything to change that. Mostly cause I don’t know what to do. Bear with me, I am working with post shit clarity here.
I would hate to overestimate my place in the lives of others but I have attempted to shove my self into peoples’ lives only for it to end disastrously. I have come to the conclusion that no one wants to be my friend. That sounded pretty sap. All I am saying is that no one loves me. Damn sounds even worse. I just want someone to rub my back and tell me everything will be fine. You know what, I am going to stop it here.
At the advanced age of 23, it is highly unlikely I will make friends. If I get married tomorrow, I won’t groomsmen. Because I have no friends. I thought I clarified that. I might have to hire a group of men for the photos.
Most great things that come my way are followed by lengthy periods of sadness and self loathing. Why? Because I have no one to celebrate with. I don’t have anyone asking about my day or what I did over the weekends.
I have got absolutely no one at this point. Which is kinda funny cause in grade school I had people who stood up to bullies for me. I guess I lost my 9 year old charm. I don’t want to go anywhere but I am made to. Home is where the TV is. I don’t watch it but it’s where the TV is.
I think I also mentioned I am a disaster with women. I don’t have money, I am not good at anything, and most importantly, I only know one type of cheese. That’s called cheese. Oh and there is አይብ which I never called cheese before.
I saw a podcast the other day
It was Louie CK on this show and they were talking about this man who posted about how he is looking for a group of black men to come fuck him. It was a video I think on craigs list. While everyone was making fun of the dude Louie pointed out how sad this video is. Because the first video this man posted was most likely not that but rather ‘hey wanna be friends?’ And after getting 0 responses on several of his posts he decided to throw caution to the wind and go with that.
Sometime I wanna cry but I can’t. I am not able to. But I dry heave when I am sad. Like a poodle. It’s been therapeutic. I recommend you try it.
Why am I saying this?
Because I think this is the loneliest era that we live in. I said I think! And I think it is especially hard on people well…like myself who struggle socially. The world is not kind. Even those who claim to want to help don’t care. I guess they need your problems to be juicy. I still haven’t figured it out. I want to go therapy but I can’t afford it and also I am not sure what a habesha therapist is gonna be like. I can’t stand the “ምፅም’ every 5 seconds or the judgy look. Anyways, if I do die alone, I hope my pets can turn me into good food. In conclusion, I am not sure what’s in store for me in the next 5 years. It’s hard to love yourself when you can’t even imagine anyone loving you. That’s all I wanted to say.
A little musical humor for you. Let’s leave this on a high note. E